SVU: Attack Of The Shippers
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: What happens when shippers find their way into the SVU precinct? Come on in and find out...


Okay, so this is the result of a very late night phone call with a good friend. We started talking about what could happen if shippers would show up at SVU, and this is what came of it. Now if people like this, it's going to be continued for other shows. So enjoy, and review and let me know what ya'll think!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

This little story is dedicated to Paige **(The Confused One)** and Andrea **(RoadRunnerGER) **for encouraging and reading this little story. Thanks, chicas! Love ya!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was an ordinary day in the Special Victims Unit squadroom. Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson sat across from each other at their prospective desk, clacking away at the keyboards in front of them.

A few feet away, John Munch and Fin Tutuola sat at their desks, working busily on paperwork that seemed to reach the ceiling, and Munch was vividly describing another conspiracy theory with enthusiasm.

As Munch launched into another theory, Fin groaned. "Shut up, old man," he growled, and Olivia and Elliot exchanged grins.

The room settled into silence again.

A half hour later, Cragen looked up in surprise to see a group of young girls to middle aged women, and his brow furrowed in concern. Stepping out of his office, he approached the group, and concern echoed in his voice as he asked, "How can I help you ladies?"

One young woman, about eighteen, stepped forward. "Yes you can, Captain Cragen."

Cragen's eyebrows quirked in surprise.

The girl turned her head and looked at the group, then looked at Cragen again. "We need to speak with El and Liv- I mean, Detectives Stabler and Benson."

Cragen looked at them with suspicion, then said, "They're right over there."

"We know," the leader said with a nod as the women brushed past Cragen.

The four detectives looked up curiously when they heard the numerous sets of footsteps, and Fin stood up first. "Can I help you?" he asked.

One of the girls stepped from the crowd, nodding vigorously. "Yes, you can help us. Go patch up things with your son. Now."

Fin's jaw dropped. "H-how... who...?"

Munch jumped up, shoving his sunglasses over his eyes as he pointed to the group of chattering women and said, "Conspiracy! It's a conspiracy!"

The leader of the group crossed her arms over her chest. "Ah, yes. Detective John Munch. Four divorces, multiple squad appearances, conspirisist, and very sarcastic."

Elliot and Olivia looked at the woman in shock, while Munch dove under his desk, covering his head with his arms and screaming, "They've finally found me! They've found me! They're going to take me to the nuthouse! I don't like padded rooms!"

A dark haired, attractive woman in her fifties appeared from the crowd, and she approached the desk and knelt down in front of Munch. "You! Get a girlfriend!" she said, shaking a finger at him. Then she stepped back and disappeared into the crowd again.

She reappeared with a blond woman in tow, and one of the other girls yanked Munch out from under the desk.

Gripping the blond woman's arm, she said, "We found your girlfriend! Now get over yourself and go get an interrogation room!"

Munch stood there in shock at the sight of Alex Cabot, then pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. Elliot and Olivia stared in shock and joy, but when they turned their heads, Munch and Alex were long gone.

Casey Novak walked into the room, surprised by the group of women. A girl with a green baseball cap reached over and grabbed her, saying, "You! Get with Fin!" Then she pushed her in Fin's direction.

Then all eyes turned on Elliot and Olivia, and they looked at each other nervously.

The leader crossed her arms over her chest and planted her feet firmly on the floor. "That hug was nice and all, but we want more!" she stated.

"How do you know about that?" Olivia asked incredulously, and a perky voice spoke up.

"We watch you two all the time!"

"What?"

"Yup. Once a week, and every night, sometimes a couple times a night!"

"Shut up!" the leader hissed.

Then she looked at Elliot and Olivia again. "Look, your marriage is over, Elliot. Your partner has been here for you for almost ten years, and you refuse to see it. She's been there for you through everything. So get with the program!"

"And you," she started, pointing at Olivia. "You need to open your mouth about how you feel about him. He's not a mind reader. You two are so in love, and every person who looks at you can see it! So go find an interrogation room and don't come out until you've worked through all your crap!"

Shaking her finger at them, she turned around to the other girls. "Am I right, ladies?"

"Right!" the sea of women chorused.

"See," she said as she turned to face the two detectives again. But as she did, she realized that they were gone, and she shrugged. "Damn bunnies," she muttered.

"Looks like our work here is done, girls," she announced, brushing her hands together.

Dozens of heads nodded.

"Okay, looks like it's off to One PP. Shippers, away!" she ordered, sheparding the women out of the squadroom.

A half hour later, Melinda Warner and George Huang walked into the empty squadroom, confusion etched across their faces.

"I wonder where everyone is," Melinda wondered out loud.

Huang shrugged. "I don't know. You want to go get lunch?"

"Sure," Melinda agreed, and they walked out of the squadroom, not hearing the giggles or shouts of pleasure coming from the interrogation rooms and janitor's closet.

The End

A/N: Well, there ya'll have it. I hope ya'll enjoyed this, and how much response I get for this will determine if I continue the series. So holler, ducklings!


End file.
